By Karen Taylor
NOTE TO SELF
Mrs Grinch to Hubby Grinch: Honey, I went shopping at WordPress Commons today and the Commons Manager, you know the damsel with the red hair, recommended that we get someone to try their newest brand of tea, Truthserum (I think its a home brand). . uhm. . . You’re the first person came to mind, so if you’ll consent . . .
Mr Grinch: (Jamaican accent) Why YOU don’t drink it? I have enough teas. I don’t need no old nasty serum warrawarra (whatever ). . . . You don’t have nothing better to do than to bother me with such things, WOMAN?
(Truth hits courage spot) Oooh. That was supp’n, supp’n good!
Mrs Grinch: So, honey, you know I love you, right?
Mrs Grinch: Anyway, there are some things I’ve wanted to discuss with you for the longest while, about how things are between us. I can’t hold back any more, If I do, I’m going to implode and that won’t be a pretty sight, Husband dearest. I’ve found the courage to share a few truths with you, as evidenced by your actions, and ask you some questions, so please lend me an ear.
Truth # 1. You married me for other reasons you didn’t share with me. Why? (No answer)
Truth # 2. You didn’t give our love a chance. Why? (No answer)
Truth #3. You are secretive and behave like a cornered dog everytime I ask you a simple question. Why? (No answer)
Truth #4. You always make the rules and then bend them to suit yourself. Why? (Frown)
Truth #5: You are never wrong, and will justify everything and anything. You are a god unto yourself. Why? (Glare)
Truth #6. You are so easily offended, yet so easy to give offence. You are a chauvinistic bully sometimes, Why? (Intenser glare)
Truth # 7. You exist to work, sleep and eat, and find companionship from your female friends who I am not allowed to meet or ask about. You don’t see me or seem to need me, until it’s convenient or except to meet your basic needs. Why? (Mutters, ‘You must know’. Eeeh. Tell the world))
Truth #8. You never ask how I am doing, pat me on the back, provide a shoulder when I need one, hold a conversation when I need a companion, care for me when I am ill, pick me up from work when I have to work late at nghts, remember any of our anniversaries, and have amnesia about any good I have brought into your life or done for you. Why? (What yuh do for me?)
Truth #9. You have been with me for 10 years, yet you still get the facts about who I am so twisted. Why? (Silence)
Truth #10. You can’t seem to appreciate my mind, my talents, and my heart. Why? (Hmm… you appreciate fe me (mine)?)
Truth #11. You are a misogynist, and that hasn’t changed with age and spouses. Who did that to you?
Truth #12. I feel battered and old. You’ve taken the stars from my eyes, the songs from my heart and the dreams from my soul. Why? (You don’t do nothing to me?)
(LADY CLAW SWOOPS DOWN AND MAKES AN INTERVENTION. SHE IS CROSS!)
(Silence. . . ., the sound of hoofs galloping away in the distance)
HubbyGrinch, it is evident that in your world you’re god of, there are no truths but yours. In mine, the standards and expectations negotiated between us will then have to stand as the basis of TRUTH. And where there is truth, there are consequences.
You don’t get it? (They never do)
Go to Charm School. Get your priorities straight.. . . or you are going to lose her. . .
For a Final Dose of Truth Serum
Finally, I’m leaving you with a final dose, the Hard Truth for all the Mr Grinches and their female versions out there (just in case you’re still not getting the memo),
It’s Hard to Swallow, but Good for you
If you’re Meeows ain’t working,
Find the Roaaaar in You
This is a Message from CLAWS (Cat Ladies Against Wife Slayers)
Are you living with or surviving a Grinch in your life, at home or work? What was that Moment of Truth like for you after you said what you had to say or had to make that BIg decision? Leave a Comment in the Box below.