The Lost Anniversary

It’s the eve

of our

anniversary

and I feel

all popped down

I’m popping peanuts

Tension is in the room

Anxiety is lying on my chest

Has been that way since the last fatal words over a week ago

More peanuts

More peanuts

Then everything stopped. The last tether I was holding onto broke.

Poof. Bandaged emotional dams broke.

We stopped

talking

lovemaking

trying

stopped fighting

the fight has gone out

the passion

and the light

and the love

We let it slip away

Not me, him

Four years of CPR

Still vegetated

Time to pull the plug?

Or just walk away

(No further explanations need, we’re all talked out)

And leave the vegetated state

With this ring, on those steps under the canopy of the sunny Friday sky

We’d promised forever, said I do

But didn’t expect that forever meant so much work to keep fires stoked

Except, why did it feel as though I was the only one changing and forgiving and caring?

And while we looked on, the venom took the oxygen out of our air

The flame on the Forever dipped, blew out

and quiet-ly, tiptoe-ing-ly slipped away.

While conflicted, crying heart(s)

helplessly and silently

watched the petals and the promises swallowed up in

the swirling dervish dusk.

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